I have not finished my story, but I am writing as the feelings strike me and this is where my thoughts are today. Since I found out the details of my husbands cheating I have been going over and over my thoughts about who these women are and why they are willing to take scraps. The women who slept with my husband all advertised for casual sex and very quickly tried for more…ALL OF THEM!!!!!! I know a lot of us struggle with the notion that in some way, these OTHERS have something we don’t, and they most certainly do…its called lack of self esteem.
Faceless/nameless woman 1 advertised for casual sex on Craigslist..crap..I can’t even imagine being so pathetic as to flog my body along side used sofas, old cars and free pets. Single woman, with child. My H met with her over six months. She started to pressure him to sleep over..so the free sex, well not free at all, and the casual…not. She dumped him for a month or so, because she could not get him to yield to her demand of more. She contacted him again, and started the whole loop again, free sex, for a little time, then asking for more.. I try to imagine how awful and used she must have felt, to try the old bait and switch to land someones husband only to be cared for, not at all…..I feel shitty that my H could treat any woman in this way, its horrible, but then she signed up for it didn’t she.
Holly, POF, casual sex…with the added bonus of a threesome, which materialized exactly once. Im sure the sex was fun, she was willing to do anything he asked and it does hurt that he revealed that side of himself to her and not me. I guess there was less at stake, less to lose in his mind because what she did or did not think of him didn’t matter. I will endeavour to speak of that in another post.
She spent 8 months like a spider at the side of my life, no concern for what she was doing. Encouraging him, sexting, texting photos of her (twat..sorry I know that is rude but I can’t seem to muster anything more tasteful) I am sure he told her marriage is not good, wife refuses sex (true at the time but more on that later), he painted a one sided picture and she fell for it like an idiot…tired old tune sadly still works. What she failed to realize was that he saw her because she was cheaper than a hooker and posed 0% challenge. She had kids (it sickens me to know that she introduced her kids to my H, and slept with him while they were in the next room…this is NOT PARENTING!) Alcoholic, difficulty keeping jobs, dumped by her husband (smart man)…she had nothing except her willingness to feed his ego, and spread her legs. She was NOT attractive, years of drinking and smoking, wrinkled mug beyond her years. Polished off a bottle of vodka by herself, blotto when my H arrived one night. If she had not caused me so much pain, my heart would break for her…and I do find myself trying to feel sorry for her at times.
She must have jumped for joy, when I asked him to move out. They took up immediately and she thought she finally had him. She wore my sexy gear that I had thrown in with his belongings when he left. FUCKING AWESOME! To put on the wife’s sex boots and (unworn but purchased by me) teddy? I cannot think of anything more demoralizing (except the cd sized security tag on it that had been forgotten at the store) I laugh at how ridiculous she must have looked.
It lasted exactly six weeks before he suddenly ghosted her without warning, and met someone he felt was better material. Truth be told he introduced her to exactly two people who both took him aside and asked why he was with someone they felt was beneath him (ouch). Now that he was facing being single, he could no longer ignore the nagging knowledge, she just fell way short in every department. My H told her he loved her, it felt like a slap, but he said he never did, it was just to damn awkward not to reply in kind and of course he did not want his free ride to end. She posted photos on her Facebook, posing for her “cute BF”..my husband (while we were still very much married and living together).
I wanted to know if she cried at the end, I know that sounds really cruel, but I needed to know that she had suffered. She invested a year, she invested her heart, and I am sure, built a fantasy about the future (that is often the hardest part to get over). I invested 14 years and my whole world. I wanted to know that she got just a little of my horror. She cried that he had just “replaced her” is she fucking kidding???? She was dumped like an old piece of trash. Holly, you should know, he did sit secretly outside our house, watching me many times, he felt sick that he had made such a huge mistake (you) and threw away his good life. He dumped you without a second thought. He can’t stand to hear your name. Every time he came to see you, he felt it would be his last, but every time we had a disagreement or difficulty he would run back to where it was easy and he did not have to face his demons.
I wonder, do these women ever read what a disaster cheating is for all involved? Do they read the statistics, less than 2% of affairs lead to a relationship, and the husband often returns to the marriage if they are allowed. In the end, it was never them, it was always me and the life we had built. He committed to me because I was worthy, accomplished, attractive and caring and when we hit a rough patch he failed me miserably. Will we survive? I honestly don’t know, but I do know I would never have allow myself to be in that position and I have often had the opportunity. When I found myself being treated without care, I tried my best to repair, but I was willing to live through the despair of losing my marriage, my husband and all that I had known because I was not willing to settle for scraps…and I am still not.
I know some of you are going to say I am beating these women up and that my husband is to blame. Yes he is 100% responsible for his decisions, all of them horrible on so many levels. I hate when people say, if it was not her it would have been someone else, maybe…I know there will always be someone willing to selfishly walk in filth with another person but why make cheating so effortless for a man that is so fucking, obviously, morally confused?
The sisterhood of women does exist..my friends are part of it, we support each other and all have the same moral code, I would not be friends with them otherwise. But there are always those sad, low self esteem women, who convince themselves that the wife deserves what she gets for not making her man happy, they are nothing but the convenient excuses of pathetic, deluded, selfish idiots.