Almost a year out from finding out my husband had affairs. Our initial issues came to a head in 2012 and we separated. Marriage therapy for a few months and he asked for a divorce. He came back in January and we lived apart and dated for a year, he did not tell me he had been cheating and moved back in. I was suspicious of his motives, bruised and beaten, not ready to let it all go…and I only knew half the truth.

Two years in a dysfunctional marriage I was too afraid to let myself feel or be vulnerable, this past August, caught him with a profile online, caught him talking to women online, on the phone, cheating again. Over two weeks he metered out the truth, trickle truth I am told…and now here we have it. A mess at our feet. He wants to save our marriage, I am not as certain I have the ability to let it all go and move forward.

What are we doing? Individual therapy, marriage therapy, talking, emoting, blogging….throwing some spaghetti at the wall to see what sticks…