Read an article the other day, an anonymous entry on MSN news from a man who cheated on his wife. As I read it, I came to realize that some cheaters just don’t fucking get it, they don’t get honesty, they don’t get commitment, they don’t get selflessness. Throughout his article (poised as a helpful missive) he … More Some just don’t fucking get it!
Just read a great post from The Aftermath on how she is managing her triggers. I have had my share of battling. In the first six months after D-day, they were hiding behind every corner waiting to get me. At first I was completely and utterly unarmed. They won each and every battle. After six … More Triggers – the ultimate battle
I have not written for sometime, and I have been feeling a need to update my story for those of you who have been finding my pages. I recall only too well, the hours and days after D-day that I constantly, compulsively combed the web looking for others, looking for hope, advice….anything. I have been … More Have Hope
Can I just start by saying FLASHBACKS SUCK! Have recently read another excellent post by Saving Shards and gosh…I know I have said it before but as much as we are all different….we are the same. I have had many flashbacks in the last few weeks. I guess the complete and utter despair of my father’s illness … More Flash Backs and Justice
I have not written for some time. My father died in April and I am reeling. Reeling from the months of watching him suffer and try to avoid the inevitable end. He was full of life and not wanting or ready to go in any way. I cared for him in every way, I’m reeling … More Soon it will be a year
In therapy we have had to discuss our sex life, hard task. I have always maintained that I am not a prude, always enjoyed sex and have had a wonderful and active past. My H maintains that one of his reasons for cheating is that our sex life had come to a halt. Wait a … More Sustained passion in Marriage -who is responsible and now what?
I often look at my H and feel he is a very familiar stranger. I guess the fact that I thought I knew him so well prior to his cheating was more fairytale I had made up for myself than fact. There was a mix of innocence and ignorance in my thinking. There is so … More Familiar Stranger -Forever?
It has been a while since I have posted, there have been therapy sessions, and arguments and acts of service, contrition, trying to get normal in this abnormal existence…trying to find love in anger and hurt. There are times when I am sufficiently distracted where I am able to find pure joy, and a good … More Rings and Things
Not a red-letter week for me. Therapy, audio books, self-talk, none of it seems to be resonating or sticking, am I and my marriage doomed? I have been going over my feelings about deception. H has been trying his best to right this horrible wrong and for some reason, none of it is making a … More In search of hope, finding darkness
Obsessing is impossible to prevent at times. No matter how strong-minded or independent we may think we are, even at the most insignificant level, we are tied to our spouses. Tonite I had a shower, simple right? I have showered every day since D-day. As I stepped out and dried myself off, there it was, … More Tonight I had a shower…..