I often look at my H and feel he is a very familiar stranger. I guess the fact that I thought I knew him so well prior to his cheating was more fairytale I had made up for myself than fact. There was a mix of innocence and ignorance in my thinking. There is so … More Familiar Stranger -Forever?
It has been a while since I have posted, there have been therapy sessions, and arguments and acts of service, contrition, trying to get normal in this abnormal existence…trying to find love in anger and hurt. There are times when I am sufficiently distracted where I am able to find pure joy, and a good … More Rings and Things
Not a red-letter week for me. Therapy, audio books, self-talk, none of it seems to be resonating or sticking, am I and my marriage doomed? I have been going over my feelings about deception. H has been trying his best to right this horrible wrong and for some reason, none of it is making a … More In search of hope, finding darkness
Obsessing is impossible to prevent at times. No matter how strong-minded or independent we may think we are, even at the most insignificant level, we are tied to our spouses. Tonite I had a shower, simple right? I have showered every day since D-day. As I stepped out and dried myself off, there it was, … More Tonight I had a shower…..
I have been having sad thoughts (and dreams) the last many days (weeks actually). In the wake of our recent therapy, and advice to start to do things together, I have been struggling with the unfairness of my husbands cheating and I cannot seem to put it to bed. I think about how cold and … More Esther Perel – Why is divorce more acceptable than infidelity?
Delicate subject. Why is the hot and steamy we have when we first meet seemingly impossible to maintain? I speak with my married, separated and divorced friends about this often. For one betrayed pal of mine, the sex remained, if not hot, at least good. She would often say “I have a young husband at … More From Hot to NOT
Forgiveness has been haunting me this week. It’s too soon to say I can give it but oh how I wish I could. My H has been working hard to restore my trust and repair (possible?) the damage he has done. Voluntary GPS tracking on his phone, therapy for his issues, I am in therapy … More This business of Forgiveness
I have not finished my story, but I am writing as the feelings strike me and this is where my thoughts are today. Since I found out the details of my husbands cheating I have been going over and over my thoughts about who these women are and why they are willing to take scraps. … More What is it with the Other Women?
So here it goes. I have been partaking in many of the infidelity blogs as of late, in order to find reason in my recent world of madness. They have helped me, greatly in fact. There is something to the adage that misery loves company but perhaps not for the reasons one might think. I … More Feelings are like Farts, better out than in!